Who Are You? Your Difference Makes a Difference.

So here’s the story.

As a little girl, I was always an entrepreneur at heart. I ran a restaurant and a doctor’s office—no mud pies, no sports, nothing that would harm me except tennis, for some reason. As I grew older, my love for reading and learning blossomed. My mom’s attempts at punishment by taking away the phone or TV didn’t faze me. I would just grab a book and read until I fell asleep.

In my adult years, my jobs never lasted more than two years. I would quickly rise to the top of my area, gaining expertise and moving on to better-paying positions. My grandmother always reminded me that nothing stopped me—not being Black or a woman. I set my sights on what I wanted and went for it.

From my mom, I inherited sweetness, kindness, and a love for education. From my father, whom I knew little about, I got stubbornness and a carefree attitude. From within, I drew drive, passion, imagination, and creativity.

But then, life started to get complicated. Disappointments, obstacles, and trauma crept in. According to others, I was too “bougie,” too proper, not Black enough, moody, and different. I didn’t realize that this “different” was essential for my purpose.

I began to question why I couldn’t be like everyone else. It would be easier to let things slide, sit in the background, and stay quiet. I felt uncomfortable being me. I decided I didn’t like people and withdrew into a tight bubble, only letting a few in. I guarded myself, avoided celebrating my accomplishments, and became a master people pleaser, hiding my true thoughts and feelings.

The box I created for myself was stifling, but I kept the lid on it. This became my new identity until I asked myself, “Girl, who are you?”

Biblical Insight:

In 1 Samuel 17:33-39, David knew how to fight and was confident in his abilities. However, Saul wanted him to do it the traditional way. Who told you that you had to do things a certain way? Who were you before you started believing you couldn’t achieve your dreams?

Confidence knowing who you are, even without speaking.

– Denise

Reflection:

Consider who told you that you couldn’t or shouldn’t pursue your dreams. Was it friends, family, parents, or even yourself? Often, it’s well-meaning advice intended to protect you.

I put the real me in a box because people are afraid of freedom. To follow Christ is to be totally free. God made you in His image and knows all your quirks, even the ones you try to hide. Look in the mirror—who are you really? What do you dream about? How do you feel in your own body? Do you love and take care of yourself, both mentally and physically?

Discovering The Real You

  • What’s your style? Are you trendy, classic, fashionable, or eccentric?
  • Are you resting well and eating healthy?
  • Do you engage in activities you enjoy? Do you have hobbies?
  • Do you want to start a business, write a book, change careers, get married, or stay single?
  • Who are you? All these aspects matter because they contribute to the real you living at your maximum capacity. God created you with purpose and intention.
Style is knowing who you are, expressing without speaking.

Breaking Free

What keeps us from being our true selves? Often, it’s the weight of tradition, like Saul’s armor on David. Walking in your purpose requires knowing who you are, your abilities, your relationship with God, and acting on it.

Steps To Discovering Who You Are

  • Conversation: Talk with yourself and God. Be honest with yourself because you know deep down if you’re lying. Fear can prevent this honesty.
  • Deliverance from the Need to Be Understood: Stop hoping others get it; it’s not their vision.
  • List Dreams and Goals: Write them down.
  • Pray: Start with a simple example.
  • Plan: Use a notebook or journal to write the vision and make it plain.
  • Surround Yourself with the Right People: Learn to identify the wrong people (manipulative, growth-stifling, jealous, afraid of change, addicted to drama).
  • Your growth may mirror others’ stagnation, causing tension.
  • Put Your Dreams and Goals into Action: Implement them practically.
  • Accept God’s Grace and Timing: You can’t walk in purpose without His grace.

Summary

Acknowledging and embracing who you are will lead you to live your best life, aligned with God’s purpose for you.

Prayer

Lord, help us to see ourselves as you see us. Guide us in discovering our true selves and walking in the purpose you have for our lives. Grant us the courage to be honest with ourselves and to take the necessary steps towards living authentically. Amen.

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